Foundations for Growth: How to help at home
Sections:
I am loved
Being loved and connected is essential for young children because it supports their emotional, social and physical development in deep ways.
-
Let them know they're loved
Tell your child you love them every day and be clear about what you love about them. For example, “I love how kind your heart is, “I'm so proud of how helpful you were today,” or “You're such a good friend to others.” When children hear specific reasons for your love, they understand that their actions and qualities are appreciated, which boosts their self-esteem.
-
Cuddle time counts!
Set aside time each day for ‘cuddle time'-a special moment to relax, snuggle and bond with your child. During this time, talk about what makes them feel loved, what they're grateful for and what makes them happy. This quiet, close connection helps children feel safe and emotionally secure.
-
Consistency builds connection
Be consistent in your actions, responses and rules. Children feel most loved when they know what to expect from their caregivers. When they can rely on you for comfort, safety and fairness, it reinforces the trust and love you share.
-
Join their world
Show your child that you love them by taking an active interest in the things that make them happy; whether it's their favourite toys, meals, TV shows, or activities. When you engage with your child's interests, it tells them that they matter to you and that they are loved just as they are.
I am safe
Safety and security is essential for young children to ensure their well-being, development and overall health.
-
Routines that reassure
Establish a consistent routine for daily activities like meals, playtime and bedtime. When children know what to expect next, they feel more in control, secure and worries and fears are reduced.
-
Safe people, strong bonds
Make sure your child knows who the trusted adults are in their life. Whether it's you, a family member, or a close friend, ensure your child feels secure knowing who they can turn to for support and care.
-
Clear rules, caring hearts
Set clear, consistent rules and boundaries in your home. Make sure your child understands what is expected of them but keep the rules simple and for their age, reinforcing them with lots of love, support and understanding. Young children are learning and will make mistakes and need the adults around them to show lots of understanding, patience and compassion.
-
Creating a comfort corner
Set up a safe, comforting space in your home where your child can go when they need a moment of peace or comfort. This could be their bedroom or a cosy corner with soft pillows, blankets, or their favourite cuddly toys. Encourage your child to use this space whenever they need to calm down, need space or to feel secure.
I am valued
Feeling valued and accepted is crucial for young children because it lays the foundation for their emotional and social well-being.
-
Self-care for the whole family
Show your child how to value themselves by setting aside a special day for family self-care activities. Take turns choosing things that help each family member feel good about themselves – whether it's a relaxing bath, reading together, enjoying a favourite meal, or even doing something creative. By modelling self-care you teach your child that they are worthy of love and attention.
-
Say it like you mean it
When praising your child, make sure your compliments are clear and focus on their efforts or achievements, e.g. instead of just saying “Well done,” say, “I'm so proud of how much effort you put into finishing that drawing,” or “I love how you stayed focused and solved that puzzle on your own.” This highlights their actions and shows that you see and appreciate their hard work.
-
Say more than ‘how was your day?
Set aside time each day where you actively listen to your child, without any interrupting. Use open-ended questions like, “What was the best part of your day?” or “What made you smile today?” rather than “What did you do today?” When children feel that their thoughts and feelings are genuinely listened to, they feel valued. This builds their confidence to communicate and strengthens the emotional bond between you and your child.
-
Connect before correct
When your child is experiencing strong emotions, practice a ‘listening-only' approach before addressing their behaviour. Instead of immediately offering ideas or correcting, focus on validating feelings with phrases like, “I see you're feeling upset,” or “It's okay to feel frustrated.” Offering comfort can help, but the key is to connect first, showing them that their emotions are heard and supported. Once they're calm, you can then discuss their behaviour. This approach strengthens your bond and makes it easier to address behaviour in a calm, constructive way.
I belong
A sense of belonging for young children means that they feel accepted, valued and connected to the people and environments around them, whether at home, school, or in social settings. It's about knowing they are a part of something larger, where they are loved, respected and safe.
-
Snapshots and stories
Show children photos from past outings, holidays, or family celebrations and share stories about those moments to reinforce the love and bond that exists within your family. Reflecting on these shared experiences helps children feel connected to the family.
-
Family traditions
Create and maintain family traditions, such as weekly movie nights, special outings, or bedtime rituals such as a favourite book or song. Traditions provide a sense of security, reminding children that they belong to a family that shares unique experiences.
-
Kindness in action
Organise a family challenge where everyone performs small acts of kindness toward one another each day. It could include helping with chores, complimenting a family member, or offering comfort when someone is feeling down. When a child sees that their needs-and the needs of others-are met with kindness, it reinforces their sense of belonging and connection to the family.
-
Celebrating you!
Talk to your child about what makes them special and unique, such as their favourite colours, foods, hobbies, interests and the important people in their life. This can include family members, pets, or any significant connections. Once complete, share with others to celebrate their individuality and role within the family. It's a powerful way for children to see themselves as valued members of the family, reinforcing their sense of identity and belonging.
Story and rhyme time
Pop along to your local library or browse Southend-on-Sea Libraries’ and reserve books online
- ‘Be You!’ by Alexandra Strick
- ‘Find Out About Families’ published by Pat-a-Cake
- ‘Guess How Much I Love You’ by Sam McBratney
- ‘I Am Enough’ by Grace Byers
- ‘I Love Me!’ by Tina Sykes and Kendra Smiley
- ‘My Family, Your family’ by Laura Henry-Allain
- ‘My First Book of Emotions for Toddlers’ by Orlena Kerek
- 'So Much’ by Trish Cooke
- ‘The Family Book’ by Todd Parr
- ‘The Worry Bee’ by Holly Hartman
- ‘The Worrysaurus (DinoFeelings)’ by Rachel Bright
- ‘When I Feel Loved’ by Paula Bowles
- ‘When I’m Feeling LOVE’ written and illustrated by Trace Moroney
Follow the links to learn these rhymes to enjoy together
Links to explore
- Emotional development in children
- How should we speak to children about their behaviour?
- Common difficulties - Anna Freud
- Games for emotions
- The Explainer Series
Here to help
If you have any worries, concerns or just need to speak to someone- there’s lots of support both in Southend and nationally. You are not alone.
Support available for families - Safeguarding Southend
Health Visiting 0 – 5 - Livewell Southend
Early Education Funding - Livewell Southend
Help through Hardship helpline – Southend Foodbank
Parental mental health and wellbeing - BBC
Helping children deal with change - CBeebies
Looking after a child or young person's mental health - Every Mind Matters
Parenting advice from child mental health experts - Place2Be
Parents Helpline - Youngminds – SETCAMHS: Telephone number 0800 953 0222. Provides advice to children and their families who need support with emotional wellbeing
“When you adopt, you quickly become aware that your child’s educational journey may look different from that of other children their age, shaped by early childhood trauma and experiences beyond their control. Their emotional and social development might need extra support, compassion and patience. More than anything, you want your child to feel accepted, understood and especially safe. I feel incredibly fortunate to have found a local school that not only understands this, but has welcomed my children wholeheartedly and as a result, both have thrived!” Mum of two adopted children
“In my opinion what matters most for children in their early years is consistent and trusting relationships where interactions and communications can flourish.” Nursery Nurse, Primary School