Nurturing Bright Futures – Working Together to Give Southend's Children the Best Start in Life

I am independent

The importance of independence

“Children who are independent take greater responsibility for their own learning and behaviour as well as developing secure self-esteem. They take pride in their skills and are better able to contribute to their groups, school, family and community”

(Kathryn Solly, 2015)

Independence builds confidence, resilience and a strong sense of self. When children begin doing things for themselves, for example feeding, dressing, or making choices, they feel capable and proud. It teaches important life skills and empowers children as they grow. Supporting independence helps children develop problem-solving abilities, self-esteem and a sense of dignity.

Celebrating your unique child

Every child develops at their own pace and that includes the journey toward independence. Some love to try things on their own, while others need more encouragement and that’s completely normal. It’s not about ticking off milestones but noticing how proud they feel when they try. From picking out clothes to helping with small tasks, independence is built one small step at a time. Celebrate their achievements, however small and remember that their starting point is just as important as their destination.

Independence: Growing and learning together – a developmental guide

age range, what your child might be doing, how you can support them
Age range	What your baby might be doing	How you can support them
During pregnancy	Baby's development is shaped by mum’s health and emotional wellbeing Building blocks for brain and body are forming	Prioritise your own health and rest Attend antenatal appointments Begin to talk to your baby whilst they are in your womb to form early bonds
Birth to 3 months	Starts to lift head during tummy time Begins to show preferences (e.g. for certain voices or people) and interest in their immediate environment	Give opportunities for short tummy time daily Hold toys within reach to encourage movement Follow their gaze and talk about what they are looking at
3 to 6 months	Reaches for and holds objects Tries to bring hands to mouth May start rolling over	Offer safe toys for grasping Let them try things independently with supervision
6 to 12 months	Sits unaided and may start crawling Begins feeding self with fingers Responds to routines (e.g. bedtime, mealtime)	Encourage self-feeding with soft foods Allow time for practicing new skills
12 to 18 months	Tries to help with dressing Takes first steps or starts walking Imitates daily routines	Let them try putting on hats or shoes Offer small, safe tasks to support independence Start having the potty visible in your home and maybe sit toys on it explaining they are doing a wee or poo in it instead of their nappy
18 to 24 months	Uses a spoon or cup with some success May begin toilet awareness Insists on doing things “by myself” or “me do it”	Encourage independence in daily routines Be patient with mistakes - remember they’re learning Offer support but allow them to try first
2 to 3 years	Tries dressing with help, feeds self with cutlery Wants to ‘do it myself’ in daily routines	Make time for your child to have a go getting dressed independently Support with gentle encouragement and praise
3 to 4 years	Can dress and undress with fewer prompts Begins to take responsibility for belongings	Use simple visual reminders and routine charts Involve them in packing their backpack or choosing clothes
4 to 5 years	Manages more tasks alone, like washing hands and tidying Understands rules and routines better	Give your child a ‘job’ to do, e.g. feed the pet, water the plants or lay the table for dinner. Small tasks can make your child feel capable and trusted Use praise to build confidence in new tasks

“Early years settings matter because they provide rich, nurturing environments where children are introduced to new experiences that ignite curiosity and learning. They support the most critical stage of brain development, helping children grow, thrive and reach their full potential. Settings also offer children vital opportunities to play, build relationships and develop social skills. For families, they are a source of support, guidance and connection — places where parents can meet others and feel part of a caring community.”

Early Years Practitioners, Playgroup