Nurturing Bright Futures – Working Together to Give Southend's Children the Best Start in Life

I am independent: How to help at home

Sections

  1. Teaching me self-care skills
  2. Supporting me to understand my emotions
  3. Helping me make friends and form relationships
  4. Encouraging me to follow routines and manage my belongings
  5. Story and rhyme time
  6. Here to help

Teaching me self-care skills

  • Toilet time independence

Make the bathroom child-friendly with steps, low baskets, and reachable items. Encourage washing, wiping, and dressing themselves to build confidence, independence, and pride in doing things on their own.

  • Wipe, bin, done

Keep tissues within reach and show your child how to use and bin them. Offer gentle reminders, praise effort, and make learning fun through role play.

  • Let them try at mealtimes

Encourage your child to feed themselves, even if it’s messy. Start with soft foods and the utensils your family uses. Talk about their lunchbox and what to eat first, like sandwiches before yoghurt, to build understanding, healthy habits, confidence, and independence at mealtimes

  • Dress for success

Getting dressed is a big task made up of lots of smaller steps. Start with easy items like putting on hats, pulling up trousers, or taking off shoes. Lay clothes out in the right order and give plenty of time and encouragement. Let your child choose between two outfits to build confidence and decision-making. Dressing dolls or teddies can also be a fun way to practise the skills without pressure. Dressing up is great fun too!

Supporting me to understand my emotions

  • Growing kindness every day

Children learn how to behave by watching and listening to you. Use everyday moments to praise kind actions like sharing or comforting a friend. Be specific, say things like, “That was kind, helping your friend when they were sad,” so they know what they did well. Regularly talking about kindness helps build empathy and teaches them how to treat others gently

  • Helping your child with goodbyes

Short, gentle separations help your child learn that goodbyes are okay and you always come back. Start by stepping out briefly while they’re calm, then return with a smile. Try not to leave when they’re upset, as it can make the space feel unsafe. Use a simple, cheerful goodbye, consistency builds trust. With time, your child will feel more secure being apart from you.

  • Naming big feelings

Children feel big emotions but often lack the words to express them. Gently name their feelings, like “I wonder if you’re angry because I said no,” or “I can see you’re sad because your teddy is in the wash.” This helps them feel understood and shows that all emotions are normal and okay to talk about. The more they hear about feelings, the better they’ll be at expressing themselves calmly.

  • Encouraging communication skills

As parents, it’s natural to anticipate what your child wants, but giving them time to express themselves helps build their communication skills. Pause for 10 seconds to let them try, whether it’s pointing, babbling, or using a word. Offer choices and encourage simple phrases like “more,” “drink,” or “help please.” These moments help boost their confidence and strengthen their communication over time.

Helping me make friends and form relationships

  • It’s okay not to win

It’s important for children to learn that things won’t always go their way-and that’s okay. Let them lose a game now and then or wait their turn to speak or act during play. Experiencing disappointment in a safe, loving environment helps build resilience and coping skills. You don’t need to make every game competitive, just give them space to feel all kinds of outcomes and emotions with your support.

  • Turn-take and teamwork games

Games that involve waiting, sharing and taking turns are great for developing social skills. Try simple games like Snakes and Ladders, Jenga, or rolling a ball back and forth. These activities teach patience, cooperation and how to handle wins and losses. Keep it fun and celebrate their effort, not just the outcome.

  • Getting involved in your child’s transition

Join events like stay-and-play or induction sessions offered by your child’s new school. Some schools may also offer home visits, which help teachers get to know your child in a familiar setting. Check out local meetups, soft play venues and summer activities at Family Centres or libraries to connect with others and support your child’s transition.

  • Building conversation skills together

Children learn how to interact with others by watching you. When they ask questions or tell you something, stop and listen with interest, even if you’ve heard it before! Respond calmly, ask follow up questions and let them finish speaking. This shows them how to listen, take turns in conversation and express their ideas respectfully – all key skills for friendships and learning.

Encouraging me to follow routines and manage my belongings

  • Bedtime routines that build confidence

Encourage your child to take the lead in small but meaningful ways at bedtime. Let them choose their pyjamas, pick a book to read and practice dressing/undressing themselves. Give plenty of time and praise their effort, even if things aren’t perfect. A calm, predictable evening also helps them feel secure and ready for sleep.

  • My bag, my responsibility

If the school doesn’t require a specific bag, let your child choose one they like—this builds independence and helps them spot it easily. Choose something simple they can open and close themselves. If a school bag is required, add a keyring to help them recognise it. Packing and unpacking together each day builds routine and responsibility.

  • Looking after my things

Label clothes, lunch boxes and bottles clearly with your child’s name. Adding picture stickers or colours can help them find their things before they can read. At home, show them what belongs to them and where things go-like shoes or toys. This builds independence and confidence, especially in busy nursery or school settings

  • Using pictures and objects to support routine

Children often understand routines better with visuals than words. Try laying out items or using pictures in the order they’ll be used like toothbrush, flannel, then clothes. You can also talk through the steps: “First we have breakfast, then we brush our teeth, then we get dressed.” This helps them feel prepared and confident about what’s coming next.

Story and rhyme time

Pop along to your local library or browse Southend-on-Sea Libraries’ and reserve books online.

  • ‘How to Brush your Teeth with Snappy Croc’ by Jane Clarke
  • ‘Hello Friend!’ by Rebecca Cobb
  • ‘Hesitant Hettie’ by Emma Atkinson
  • ‘Meesha Makes Friends’ by Tom Percival
  • ‘No More Nappies (big steps)’ by Cambell books
  • ‘Poo Poo Bum Bum Wee Wee’ by Steve Cowell and Erica Salcedo
  • ‘Sharing a Shell’ by Julia Donaldson

Follow the links to enjoy these for songs and games to enjoy together

Links to explore

When you have a child with SEND, being their advocate becomes part of everyday life. The worry never leaves – will others understand and support them? When my son started school, those fears eased. He went in happy, came out smiling, and I knew the staff saw him – not just his needs, but his whole self.”

Mum of Alfie, age 14

Here to help

If you have any worries, concerns or just need to speak to someone, there’s lots of support both in Southend and nationally. You are not alone.

“Watching my three year old explore the world with such fearless curiosity and excitement, reminds me how independence begins with wonder and how important ‘letting go of his hand’ is, even just for a moment, as he learns to trust himself and build his resilience.”

Mum of Roman, age 3